this shit is crazy

So, I had my first experience with a computer virus, trojan to be exact. It seems the name alone would be of comfort, like it would protect your computer, like the condom protects against STD's, or viruses. Trust me it dosen't and i now contemplate why it is called trojan. It must be the story of the Trojan horse, sneak attack. Balls to the wall, what the fuck am i gonna do? I was innocently checking my e-mail and all of a sudden something wanted to steal my personal computer information. Since i have limited funds in my checking account, i almost peed my pants. I immediatly called my friend for advice, and, of course, i couldn't explain my way around this box i spend so much time on. (Side note, why are computers sold to people that have no idea how to work them, anyway. It seems best buy and circuit city should require a class before the transaction can be made!)
Anyway, it took two days of apperantly "scanning" to find everything wrong with it. Over 8000. that seems like alot, is that really normal? how can so many things be wrong with it along with the virus. I only check my e-mail...i don't get it! I also don't understand this "scanning" process. It makes me think i have a super hero hiding somewhere in the mother board using super laser glasses, kicking the asses of the 8000 tiny monsters in my computer. It could happen.
Then i really freaked out when the virus wasn't deleted and got scammed out of $60 to buy some bogus protection. That condom sounds like it would protect my computer better...hhhmmmm, maybe if I....okay thats enough of that........
I finally just finished resetting all my passwords. What another ordeal. The million dollar questions....whats your mothers maiden name?...your first pet?...city of birth?....shoe size?....bra size? It seems just short of handing over my first born, but i guess it is necessary busy work I have no interest in. Just to write this blog. Your welcome Mr. Davidson....i finally did it!!!!